finding the right words...
So I know I have been updating seven times a day for the past couple days, but I figure I am updating on everything that happened in Mexico and I do owe you guys that. Besides being home from Mexico has been nothing short of boring. I have nothing else to do. There is so much about my last few weeks in Mexico I could still talk about. This entry will be kind of short. This is just about talking to the kids this summer and what I learned from my conversations with them.
Sometimes we try to talk people because we want to help them. Sometimes we go into the conversation thinking we can help them. Thinking that we can say or do something that will change their attitude, or their situation. Sometimes this is our goal. we go into a conversation with a specific thing we want to say, or a certain point we want to get across, all in the hopes that they will see things our way. We come across as preaching, and when we come across as preachy its because that is usually what we are being. What we dont realize is instead of having our own agenda first we should take the time to actually listen to what they are saying. Then once we have a clear understanding we should make sure we investigate our own motives for what we are about to say. We should always make sure we are sensitive about what we are saying and we are sharing this wisdom for the right reasons. with the intention of helping the other person, with the motivation of pure love in our hearts, and with the hopes that this is what is best for them. with the we are encouraging when trying to help, and not trying to tell them that we know what is best for them. We should remember all the glory and to whom it belongs. we should not be getting into these conversations to build our selves up. I am saying this because so often this what I find myself doing. Whether I am helping the person or not, I get all high and mighty at the fact that I think I am or that they are confiding in me and asking me for my help. As if I were wise enough to come up with any solution on my own. As if I am the only one they could have asked and they choose me because I am so good and giving advice. I start to think that I am such a good example a good christain and I am capable of giving them this advice and helping them change or fix something. And then if it works out in their (or should I say our) favor, we give ourselves a pat on the back and say, "good job Samone, you really helped her out!" Sometimes we take pride in the confidence and we do things for our self seeking glory. Whether it helps the person or not is not the real victory, whether we are truly purely loving the person or not is not of our concern. It becomes about us. This is natural. It was something I constantly had to be praying about. And when I realized I was doing it, I was ashamed. I found that I would be seeking out conversations or sometimes building relationships with the kids, simply to say that I did it. Simply to be able to tell myself, "you really had an amazing conversation with so and so, and you really had an impact. you really influenced his life in a postive way," or "so and so much like you best because they really opened up to you." or maybe even just because I wanted to be closer to the kids than other interns were.
And I realized that this is my sinful nature, this is the way my selfish heart works. At my core, these were the things that were motivating me at first. And I found that the conversations I had then were ok and mediocure. God helped me realize that it is not me. He helped me see that that is not the right reasons to be talking and building relationships with these kids and there is nothing I can do to change them. Only the holy spirit working through me, and God only choose to use me once I figured this out. I prayed and God changed my heart. I was now seeking conversations and relationships with these kids because I loved them. Because God can give us an amazing capacity to love another person purely and with a Godly love. I was simply seeking to know them more about their lives out of love. And I wanted what was best for them, which was to know the Lord. And when I was coming at it from this angle God suddenly opened so many doors and windows of opportunities to talk to these kids. And the best part is I dont know how much I helped them or what I did but I know that whatever Good did come out of it, whenever I was a witness and I got to see God working in these kids lives and changing their hearts, I knew that God was at work and he was using us (the interns) as his tools. Tools to be an example or just to be loving them. To take a genuine interest in their lives. I was up lifted by this revelation. And I also learned that when we try to help people and give people advice in this way, when we come at it with prayer, pure Godly love for the other person, and his wisdom, not only does God present us with so many opportunities but they bring us a genuine joy and the other person can feel it, they can sense it. They know the different between being a preachy, self righteous pompous high and mighty pharisee and a person with a genuine heart. Who asks because they are concerned and care's for their well being. And they respond so much better to the latter. Trust me I know from first hand expierence. So if you really want to help people, if you really want to love people call on God and ask for the right state of heart. He will give this to you. This does not mean that everything you say is going to be right all the time and every situation will turn out dandy, but it really does help alot. I dont know, this was just something I learned and saw alot of this summer in myself. I'm not saying that I did amazing summer because of my wonderful heart. I'm saying that God imparted his grace on me and despite my broken spanish and horrible pronunciation, God was able to use me in his ministry to these kids.
Sometimes we try to talk people because we want to help them. Sometimes we go into the conversation thinking we can help them. Thinking that we can say or do something that will change their attitude, or their situation. Sometimes this is our goal. we go into a conversation with a specific thing we want to say, or a certain point we want to get across, all in the hopes that they will see things our way. We come across as preaching, and when we come across as preachy its because that is usually what we are being. What we dont realize is instead of having our own agenda first we should take the time to actually listen to what they are saying. Then once we have a clear understanding we should make sure we investigate our own motives for what we are about to say. We should always make sure we are sensitive about what we are saying and we are sharing this wisdom for the right reasons. with the intention of helping the other person, with the motivation of pure love in our hearts, and with the hopes that this is what is best for them. with the we are encouraging when trying to help, and not trying to tell them that we know what is best for them. We should remember all the glory and to whom it belongs. we should not be getting into these conversations to build our selves up. I am saying this because so often this what I find myself doing. Whether I am helping the person or not, I get all high and mighty at the fact that I think I am or that they are confiding in me and asking me for my help. As if I were wise enough to come up with any solution on my own. As if I am the only one they could have asked and they choose me because I am so good and giving advice. I start to think that I am such a good example a good christain and I am capable of giving them this advice and helping them change or fix something. And then if it works out in their (or should I say our) favor, we give ourselves a pat on the back and say, "good job Samone, you really helped her out!" Sometimes we take pride in the confidence and we do things for our self seeking glory. Whether it helps the person or not is not the real victory, whether we are truly purely loving the person or not is not of our concern. It becomes about us. This is natural. It was something I constantly had to be praying about. And when I realized I was doing it, I was ashamed. I found that I would be seeking out conversations or sometimes building relationships with the kids, simply to say that I did it. Simply to be able to tell myself, "you really had an amazing conversation with so and so, and you really had an impact. you really influenced his life in a postive way," or "so and so much like you best because they really opened up to you." or maybe even just because I wanted to be closer to the kids than other interns were.
And I realized that this is my sinful nature, this is the way my selfish heart works. At my core, these were the things that were motivating me at first. And I found that the conversations I had then were ok and mediocure. God helped me realize that it is not me. He helped me see that that is not the right reasons to be talking and building relationships with these kids and there is nothing I can do to change them. Only the holy spirit working through me, and God only choose to use me once I figured this out. I prayed and God changed my heart. I was now seeking conversations and relationships with these kids because I loved them. Because God can give us an amazing capacity to love another person purely and with a Godly love. I was simply seeking to know them more about their lives out of love. And I wanted what was best for them, which was to know the Lord. And when I was coming at it from this angle God suddenly opened so many doors and windows of opportunities to talk to these kids. And the best part is I dont know how much I helped them or what I did but I know that whatever Good did come out of it, whenever I was a witness and I got to see God working in these kids lives and changing their hearts, I knew that God was at work and he was using us (the interns) as his tools. Tools to be an example or just to be loving them. To take a genuine interest in their lives. I was up lifted by this revelation. And I also learned that when we try to help people and give people advice in this way, when we come at it with prayer, pure Godly love for the other person, and his wisdom, not only does God present us with so many opportunities but they bring us a genuine joy and the other person can feel it, they can sense it. They know the different between being a preachy, self righteous pompous high and mighty pharisee and a person with a genuine heart. Who asks because they are concerned and care's for their well being. And they respond so much better to the latter. Trust me I know from first hand expierence. So if you really want to help people, if you really want to love people call on God and ask for the right state of heart. He will give this to you. This does not mean that everything you say is going to be right all the time and every situation will turn out dandy, but it really does help alot. I dont know, this was just something I learned and saw alot of this summer in myself. I'm not saying that I did amazing summer because of my wonderful heart. I'm saying that God imparted his grace on me and despite my broken spanish and horrible pronunciation, God was able to use me in his ministry to these kids.
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