so much for trying to be better about updating. so now I am home. its already august. I arrive home last night. I can't believe I've been there the whole summer. everyday seems to blend together and I feel so strange being home. my heart is definitely heavy and I miss those kids so much. And yet I feel peace in my heart like everything will be ok. I think I am finally starting to trust God. and I cant explain it but I know no matter what happens I will see their beautiful faces again. I also know that God is watching over there lives because he is good and faithful and he loves them more than I could ever love them. Sometimes when i would think about leaving I would feel so sad and I couldnt picture it, and through prayer and other missionaries this year, Ive realized that God loves these kids much more than I do and could possbily ever love them. And I think knowing that is what gives me peace.
paper hearts
Earlier I was writing an entirely different post than this, but then I had to stop and sleep because I was tired and had no idea where I was going with it...and now I've lost my train of thought, and really have not much more to say on the matter. I mean, I still don't know exactly what I think about this whole predestination thing. I mean, I know what I ought to believe about it, but it's also really confusing and I'm not sure I understand it...I mean, at least not completely. I still have the post (which I never finished) saved as a draft. SO as soon as I work up the courage to go down that road again...well I will finish up and post it. For now I'm just going to ponder other matters. Ok so its my first week back at school and I am already screwing up all over the place. It's something I keep realizing. Just because I went to Mexico on a mission trip for the summer doesn't mean I'm some saint now who is going to be really good at everything who suddenl...
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