so much for trying to be better about updating. so now I am home. its already august. I arrive home last night. I can't believe I've been there the whole summer. everyday seems to blend together and I feel so strange being home. my heart is definitely heavy and I miss those kids so much. And yet I feel peace in my heart like everything will be ok. I think I am finally starting to trust God. and I cant explain it but I know no matter what happens I will see their beautiful faces again. I also know that God is watching over there lives because he is good and faithful and he loves them more than I could ever love them. Sometimes when i would think about leaving I would feel so sad and I couldnt picture it, and through prayer and other missionaries this year, Ive realized that God loves these kids much more than I do and could possbily ever love them. And I think knowing that is what gives me peace.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

finding the right words...

So I know I have been updating seven times a day for the past couple days, but I figure I am updating on everything that happened in Mexico and I do owe you guys that. Besides being home from Mexico has been nothing short of boring. I have nothing else to do. There is so much about my last few weeks in Mexico I could still talk about. This entry will be kind of short. This is just about talking to the kids this summer and what I learned from my conversations with them. Sometimes we try to talk people because we want to help them. Sometimes we go into the conversation thinking we can help them. Thinking that we can say or do something that will change their attitude, or their situation. Sometimes this is our goal. we go into a conversation with a specific thing we want to say, or a certain point we want to get across, all in the hopes that they will see things our way. We come across as preaching, and when we come across as preachy its because that is usually what we are being. What we ...
Read more

loss

why is it that whenever something bad happens, and we need God the most...that is when we run? I am just speaking from personal experience. That is what I always do. whenever something horrible happens in my life and I am strickin with sorrow and grief, I don't want to go to God. I think, what could he possibly do? I think, why is God conerened with my petty little human problems...or sometimes I guess I even partially blame him and I'm angry that this happened and I don't trust him enough to go to him. Maybe I just am afraid he will hurt me more. or maybe Im not trusting in his power to comfort me, to console me? Or me, the way that I am I always try and get through something on my own. I dont want people to feel sorry for me, or pitty me. I dont want to come across as weak and unable to handel difficult situations. I am far to prideful sometimes. and I dont know why considering Im inept at half the things I do. but these are the times when we should call on the Lord, tru...
Read more

Goodbye Susan

To Lose a Dear Friend: What words are there to lament my grief? There really are no words to say, all the condolences just seem so trite for the sorrow I wish to convey. Silence seems the only appropriate response  the only expression of heaviness my heart can endure; thoughts of you bring tears so bitter from whence this world you must depart I think of the mark you left on those you knew one of kindness, faithfulness and grace So that I cannot help but feel the powerful sting of death, as I anticipate your mark this place to say "dont go" I know is selfish when you have nothing left here but pain when I know that God will guide your soul to a place where sin can no longer stain But when God gives the world a treasure and it can only last for a short while, you take the time you have to care for it and cherish the hugs and the smiles But when it comes time for him to retrive that precious gift you can't help but repine Because you had a small taste of that presish soul t...
Read more