back to the street 1

when you told me you were leaving
you acted like you didnt care
as if running away didnt matter and
you never really were there
but it wasnt as easy for me to pretend
i wasnt going to lie and say that
you leaving wouldnt hurt me again
I couldnt smile and tell you that It'd be ok,
It took all the strength I had not to beg you to stay
and in the end I wish I would have
I should have swallowed my pride,
maybe then, I wouldn't be sittin here
wondering if you were still alive.
maybe you were trying to be brave
and you thought you could be strong
but I cant hide it when I'm afriad
and I told you, you were wrong
or maybe you dont know what you mean to me
Or your own potential, and how great you could be
you never saw the good in yourself that was so plain to me
you said there are better people and one day I would see
you saw a worthless street boy when you looked in the mirror
you didn't try to make friends because you only knew fear
but I saw an talented young man, with a heart of pure gold,
trying to hope in a future trying to break the mold.
you were so used to having no one, not having a voice,
its so easy to be silent when your not given a choice.
And you were so different, always running around,
traveling from city to city walking from town to town
with no agenda, no money, with no place to call home
at first it felt like freedom, until you realized you were alone
You start dreaming of a family, the life you never had
but you learn dreaming is pointless, it only makes you sad
why waste your days dreaming about the things you'll never have,
You gotta be tough now, here on the streets, gotta get mad.
puttin on a front to every thug you meet,
you don't want to get robbed raped hustled or beat.
nobody looks you in the eye; unless they're looking down
thinking of the ways they can exploit you and push you around
I remember you said, once you had everything, and now its all gone
I remember my heart broke when you looked me head on,
and said sometimes I curse God because I dont know what I did wrong,
some nights I can't fall asleep because I haven't eaten in so long.
Some nights I'd just pray and sob because I can not understand,
why I was born into this life and why I was dealt this hand.
I had nothing, and no one, I was too afraid to sleep
I was just a boy terrified living in a park on the street.
I was ten years old when I returned to an empty home,
so the landlady kicked me out and told me I'm on my own.
its hard to believe you have 17 years with eyes so old
with everything you've suffered I expected a heart so cold
there on the streets I lived everyday just to survive
So young, I didn't know anything when I arrived
I learned to steal money, just to have a decent meal
not to show emotion I learned to pretend not to feel.
I had to defend myself so I had to learn how to fight
I had to learn to run fast and stay awake in the night