The things God teaches us from the hours of 2-5 am
I'm not sure what it was that was keeping me awake, but between the hours of 2 and 5 am I could not bring my eyelids to shut and I couldn't bring my mind to be still and drift into dreamland. At times my eyes would begin to shut and then I would just begin to think about various things, things I can't change but wish I could. Things such as the way my friends or family think about their faith, or their lives or just God in general. This is something that troubles me quite often, although I think this is the first time I've lost sleep over it. Which leads me to believe God has answered my prayers in at least one respect (and I'm sure countless more ways, which I have not yet been able to see). But definitely in this way...I remember praying so much last year that I would not become complacent.
I knew, at the time, I already had become complacent in my faith because for a period of time I stopped caring. I knew that I was not growing, I knew I was at a standstill, not striving for anything, not making any progress...and yet I didn't care. Well I suppose I did care a little or I wouldn't have prayed about it, but still...nothing was happening. Maybe I was giving up, tired of believing but having doubts and no questions being answered. Tired of seeking (with little faith) and never finding, and then I was just asking but not seeking. I didn't have enough faith in myself or in God to do anything about it. I was holding myself back with fear and couldn't let go of past failures. Now I can say with confidence I know I care. That is not to say that I am so much braver or so much stronger...I know many people who outshine me in their bravery, boldness [for the faith] and faithfulness...but I have seen a difference in me, and I can feel it in my heart, God working, making me braver, stronger and helping me gather my faith in my palms of my small frial hands.
I guess what I'm saying is this; things just bug me enough to pray about...I'm not saying God is constantly on my mind and he is in my every thought...but I am striving. I don't know what it was...maybe it was a dry spell...a period of hopelessness which we all seem to stumble along in our spiritual journeys at some point [though for me they've always seemed to come and go]. But it seemed as though my life, my actions were falling into a series of monotonous patterns and I didn't know how to begin to take myself out. Hmm I wasn't trying to make this into either a life or pitty story...I guess I am just saying that I am still amazed by Gods faithfulness and his power. I am still shocked when I see my prayers being answered too. Sometimes I think God is so big and so far out there in the heavens, he doesnt have time for my petty and mundane concerns. I forget that he is faithful and loving and acutally cares of my well being. I lose sight of what love really is and underestimate just how big and great his love for me is. Which is so big and so great I can not comprehend or understand.
Now, I am not saying that I am suddenly perfect or even close, but I know what I am striving for. I know my goals are Gods goals and he will provide me with the resources to accomplish them. But no matter what I accomplish in the flesh, I know that it is worth nothing compared to the glory that comes through growing in a relationship with Jesus. And I know that whatever life I could have without Christ would not only be incomparably miserable but it would be worth nothing. I know what I want and what I will pray for and work towards each day. And that is the joy in knowing him and his love, and the righteousness that is by faith. And suddenly the things of this world, the earthly things, the selfish desires I have and self imposed Goals (which were not for the glory of Christ) don't matter. Of course I can say this, and it is always harder for me to put it into practice when I enter the real world. But I am praying for strength and wisdom...and also for help. I know I cannot do this by my own power or of my own will. So I am praying that Gods will, will become my own.
I was reading through Philippians Chapters 2 and 3 tonigh...well, this morning (you know when I couldn't sleep =] and it was wonderful. I don't know how or why but it both encouraged me and scared the crap out of me at the same time. Please read it if you have time. Its great. I am going to point out some passages/verses that stuck out to me. But to get the full content you can read it yourself. Listen to whatever God might be saying to you and telling you about your life in these verses. I am no pastor, I am no saint and that is why I want to give you the chance to hear it straight from the Word itself.
Philippians 2
If you have any encouragement from being united in Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conciet, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus-6 who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness, 8 and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obiedient to death- even death on a cross. Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him a name that is above every other name.
continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you. To will and act according to his good purpose.14 Do everything without complaint or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16 as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
Philippians 3;2
watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh 3 for it is we who are circumcision we who worship by the spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh.
(we should not put or confidence in oursleves or in our flesh because it cannot save, we should put our confidence in Christ).
3;7- But whatever was the my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 what is more I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things I consider them rubbish that I main gain Christ. 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
In these verses we consider....in verse 8, knowledge is not just factual but an expierence of greatness that transform the person. What Paul has a Christian is not only preferrable or better but his former way is despicable.
verse 9- "be found in him" This speaks of the union with Christ, not simply an experience in the past but a present continuing relationship by faith and righteousness is a principal benefit of union with Christ.
Philippians 3;12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
we should let go - not losing all memory of our sinful pasts but leaving it behind as done with and settled. Keep striving for all these things in Christ.
Philippians 3;15
All of us who are mature should take such a view on things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 only let us live up to what we have already attained.
"mature" those with reasonable progress in spiritual growth and stability
"such a view" there are hieghts yet to be scaled; let us not become complacent
"live up...already attained" - Put into practice the truth they have already comprehended because we are responsible for the truth we already posses.
I knew, at the time, I already had become complacent in my faith because for a period of time I stopped caring. I knew that I was not growing, I knew I was at a standstill, not striving for anything, not making any progress...and yet I didn't care. Well I suppose I did care a little or I wouldn't have prayed about it, but still...nothing was happening. Maybe I was giving up, tired of believing but having doubts and no questions being answered. Tired of seeking (with little faith) and never finding, and then I was just asking but not seeking. I didn't have enough faith in myself or in God to do anything about it. I was holding myself back with fear and couldn't let go of past failures. Now I can say with confidence I know I care. That is not to say that I am so much braver or so much stronger...I know many people who outshine me in their bravery, boldness [for the faith] and faithfulness...but I have seen a difference in me, and I can feel it in my heart, God working, making me braver, stronger and helping me gather my faith in my palms of my small frial hands.
I guess what I'm saying is this; things just bug me enough to pray about...I'm not saying God is constantly on my mind and he is in my every thought...but I am striving. I don't know what it was...maybe it was a dry spell...a period of hopelessness which we all seem to stumble along in our spiritual journeys at some point [though for me they've always seemed to come and go]. But it seemed as though my life, my actions were falling into a series of monotonous patterns and I didn't know how to begin to take myself out. Hmm I wasn't trying to make this into either a life or pitty story...I guess I am just saying that I am still amazed by Gods faithfulness and his power. I am still shocked when I see my prayers being answered too. Sometimes I think God is so big and so far out there in the heavens, he doesnt have time for my petty and mundane concerns. I forget that he is faithful and loving and acutally cares of my well being. I lose sight of what love really is and underestimate just how big and great his love for me is. Which is so big and so great I can not comprehend or understand.
Now, I am not saying that I am suddenly perfect or even close, but I know what I am striving for. I know my goals are Gods goals and he will provide me with the resources to accomplish them. But no matter what I accomplish in the flesh, I know that it is worth nothing compared to the glory that comes through growing in a relationship with Jesus. And I know that whatever life I could have without Christ would not only be incomparably miserable but it would be worth nothing. I know what I want and what I will pray for and work towards each day. And that is the joy in knowing him and his love, and the righteousness that is by faith. And suddenly the things of this world, the earthly things, the selfish desires I have and self imposed Goals (which were not for the glory of Christ) don't matter. Of course I can say this, and it is always harder for me to put it into practice when I enter the real world. But I am praying for strength and wisdom...and also for help. I know I cannot do this by my own power or of my own will. So I am praying that Gods will, will become my own.
I was reading through Philippians Chapters 2 and 3 tonigh...well, this morning (you know when I couldn't sleep =] and it was wonderful. I don't know how or why but it both encouraged me and scared the crap out of me at the same time. Please read it if you have time. Its great. I am going to point out some passages/verses that stuck out to me. But to get the full content you can read it yourself. Listen to whatever God might be saying to you and telling you about your life in these verses. I am no pastor, I am no saint and that is why I want to give you the chance to hear it straight from the Word itself.
Philippians 2
If you have any encouragement from being united in Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conciet, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interest of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus-6 who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness, 8 and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obiedient to death- even death on a cross. Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him a name that is above every other name.
continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you. To will and act according to his good purpose.14 Do everything without complaint or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16 as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
Philippians 3;2
watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh 3 for it is we who are circumcision we who worship by the spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh.
(we should not put or confidence in oursleves or in our flesh because it cannot save, we should put our confidence in Christ).
3;7- But whatever was the my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 what is more I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things I consider them rubbish that I main gain Christ. 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ- the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
In these verses we consider....in verse 8, knowledge is not just factual but an expierence of greatness that transform the person. What Paul has a Christian is not only preferrable or better but his former way is despicable.
verse 9- "be found in him" This speaks of the union with Christ, not simply an experience in the past but a present continuing relationship by faith and righteousness is a principal benefit of union with Christ.
Philippians 3;12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
we should let go - not losing all memory of our sinful pasts but leaving it behind as done with and settled. Keep striving for all these things in Christ.
Philippians 3;15
All of us who are mature should take such a view on things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 only let us live up to what we have already attained.
"mature" those with reasonable progress in spiritual growth and stability
"such a view" there are hieghts yet to be scaled; let us not become complacent
"live up...already attained" - Put into practice the truth they have already comprehended because we are responsible for the truth we already posses.
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